He's My Jerk
by Karrissarella
Summary: Mikado is worried about his best friend's choice of boyfriend, who just happens to be a certain informant, but Masaomi has something to say about his apparent "beloved." Izaya/Kida, established relationship. Kink meme fill.
1. Let's Have Some Fun

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Durarara! or any of the characters. That property rightfully belongs to it's owner.

**Title:** He's My Bastard

**Author:** Karrissarella

**Genre:** Romance/Humor

**Rating:** T

**Summary:** Mikado is worried about his best friend's choice of boyfriend, who just happens to be a certain informant, but Masaomi has something to say about his apparent "beloved." Izaya/Kida, established relationship. Kink meme fill.

* * *

><p>Orihara Izaya. There were many words Kida could use to describe this man. Informant. Dangerous. Cunning. Manipulative. Malicious. Psychotic. ...Bastard. So why was Kida sitting in said man's apartment once again? Simple. They had been dating.<p>

Oh, you heard right. Izaya Orihara and Kida Masaomi were dating. For a year now, actually. It wasn't really publicly known, nor was it really secretive. Kida's friends knew (including his ex-girlfriend, not that she minded.), and well, Izaya's employees or close connections knew.

Their relationship was pretty casual to most people. They didn't show affection in public, mostly due to Kida's nervousness about someone catching them in the act. This didn't mean they were all over each other when they were in privacy either. Kida would give into Izaya's cuddling on the sofa or bed, or Kida would move over to hold Izaya's hand while they were watching a movie together.

Izaya wasn't one for a lot of affection anyway. He liked his space and he knew Masaomi did too. However, it was a lot of fun to tease the younger boy.

"Kida-kun~" Izaya sang as he sashayed over to teenage boy who was laying on the couch, listening to his iPod. He hummed to himself and pulled out one of Kida's ear buds as he hovered over him, grinning. "Masaomi~"

Masaomi frowned, noticing his boyfriend staring down at him. He took out his ear buds and sat up on the couch, facing him. Izaya grinned, reaching over to place a kiss on Kida's cheek and right on cue, Kida's face flushed a bright red and he automatically scooted away from his boyfriend, avoiding eye contact. "Get off, you bastard!"

Izaya chuckled, "a year with me and you still act so tsun-tsun, Kida-kun~" He mused which earned a glare from the ex-leader. "Sh-shut up!" Kida responded.

Izaya lifted his hands up in defense. "I was just trying to show you some love, Masaomi. It has been a little over a year since we started this relationship."

Kida sighed in defeat, wrapping his musical device up, placing it in his pocket. "What do you want, Izaya?"

"I just found out that a certain Taro-san seems a big jealous that his friend is going out with a certain informant~" he sang.

"What?" Masaomi said blankly. Izaya had to be lying. "Don't play your games with me, Izaya-san."

Izaya's grin grew wider, "I'm not lying, Kida-kun~" he said, before reaching over and gripping the blonde's chin to make eye contact. "You better go tell him you're not available, Kida-kun. You're mine." Izaya watched his partner's face change from child-like to the face of an adult.

Masaomi could think of a few more words that went with Izaya. Controlling. Protective. So why hadn't Masaomi left this man yet? He wasn't quite sure himself. He knew one thing though, and he had to keep his boyfriend from hurting his best friend again.

–

**Tanaka-Taro logged on.**

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Evening!_

**Setton:** _Good evening!_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Just us?_

**Setton:** _Looks like it. Kanra-san hasn't logged on yet today._

Mikado frowned, as he paused his typing. He knew what Izaya was probably doing, and it sickened him to his stomach. He wanted to support his best friend's decision in choosing who he wanted to date and love, because he wanted Masaomi to be happy, but he just felt like this man wasn't the right answer to all of his friend's problems. Ironically, this man was the one who started all the problems for Masaomi.

**Setton:** _...Tanaka-Taro-san?_

Mikado turned his head back to his computer when he heard the messenger noise. He moved his fingers over his keyboard,

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Ah, sorry. I got a little distracted. I'm just a little worried about Bakyura-san._

**Setton:** _Bakyura-san? What brings him up all of a sudden?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _He's...been dating someone that I don't really approve of. I know it's not my choice or anything, but...I just don't think he's right for Bakyura-san._

**Setton:** _?_

**Kanra has logged on.**

**Kanra:** _Hiiii everyone~!_

**Kanra:** _Ehh? I just read the log and Tanaka-Taro-san, you're worried about Bakyura-san? I happen to know personally that he's in good hands~~! No need to worry~_

**Private IM from Tanaka-Taro**

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Quit screwing around, Izaya. What are you trying to pull?_

**Kanra:** _Oh, Mikado, it hurts me so when you accuse me of things like such! Masaomi is my pride and joy~! Why would I want to do anything to hurt him?~~_

Mikado glared at the screen in front of him, he couldn't believe this man.

**Tanaka-Taro:** _He isn't safe with you._

**Kanra:** _He's been with me for a year now, Ryuugamine-kun. If I wanted to do something to torture him even more – don't you think I would have by now? It's been a whole year._

**Tanaka-Taro:**_ …_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _You waited a year to try to break our friendship and make us enemies. Why would you planning anything different this time?_

**Kanra:** _If you really want to see that he's safe – why don't you just come over here right now?_

Izaya turned from his computer to where his boyfriend sat on one of the couches, pre-occupying himself with a Rubix Cube. He smiled inwardly, watching him for a moment. Kida always wore this determined look on his face when he was presented with a challenge. No matter what.

**Kanra:** _You think I'm forcing him to stay here and have prepared a ransom note like in one of those old cliché movies?_

Izaya laughed at his own joke, before realizing what he had done and turned to see if Masaomi noticed. He had to keep his playing to a minimum now that Kida was nearly over here everyday. It didn't matter with Namie if he acted insane – but Masaomi was a lot closer to the toys he played with.

Masaomi had looked up from his challenging distraction, quirking an eyebrow over at his boyfriend. Izaya merely smiled over at him, the ex-leader shaking his head in response before turning his attention back to the cube.

**Tanaka-Taro:** _I have a better idea. Why don't we meet at Russia Sushi tomorrow night?_

**Kanra:** _How are you so sure I won't tell Masaomi?_

**Tanaka-Taro:** _Because if you love him as much as you claim you do – I know you wouldn't want him to worry._

Izaya smirked, sitting back in his chair, staring at his computer screen. Ryuugamine Mikado. He was a conniving kid, wasn't he? _This will be fun_, he thought, smiling to himself.

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><p>AN: My first Izaya/Kida fill on ! Feels good, man. Don't forget to R&R! :)


	2. He's Mine

–

Izaya was up nearly half the night talking about dates and places for the two to meet without any complications or people being suspicious of the two being together. He knew a lot of people were far more protective of Kida now, just because he was dating him. Especially Mikado and Anri. It didn't really phase him much. He watched the scrolling chatroom with amusement, leaning back in his chair.

He was distracted when he heard loud snores coming from his living room area. He smirked, it was one of the perks of Kida he didn't enjoy. He quickly typed a message in the chatroom before standing up and leaning over his couch to stare down at the blonde. He reached down, plugging the blonde's nose, watching his boyfriend jolt up in moments.

Masaomi's eyes were wide, was half-worried why he couldn't breathe for a moment before his eyes met amused glinting red orbs. He frowned, "you really got to stop doing that, dammit. It's dangerous."

Izaya chuckled, "so is your snoring. I'm surprised an earthquake hasn't broken out in Shinjuku yet." He teased, lifting up his hands dramatically, which earned a glare from the younger one. He reached down and pinched the blonde's cheek. "Oh, aren't you so cuuuuteee when you're pouty~~" he cooed, and his hand was quickly smacked away.

Masaomi stood up from the couch, "I'm going home." He stated. He moved to make his way out before noticing Izaya standing in front of him. "What the hell? I'm allowed to go home."

"It's five in the morning, Kida-kun~"

"I'll be fine," the teenage boy argued, moving to push past the informant. He froze when he heard the informant unlock his phone, pressing a few buttons. "It won't be in a few minutes if you decide to go out there~"

Masaomi frowned, tightening his grip on the handle. He narrowed his eyes at the reflection in the doorknob, seeing himself and Izaya behind him ready to press any button on his phone to make a call to go out who knows where to fuck him over. "Tch," he turned around. "I'm going to bed," he muttered, pushing past the informant and walking up the staircase, slamming the informant's door behind him. Izaya heard the click of his bedroom door locking.

"In the doghouse again, eh?" Izaya laughed. Masaomi was fun. He wasn't sure he would ever get sick of him. "I'm glad I made you mine, Masaomi." _Doesn't look like everyone sees that though._ He thought to himself as he moved back over to his desk.

"We'll just have to show him you're mine, right, Kida-kun?" He said to himself as he scrolled through the rest of the chat log.

–

_Tuesday. 10pm. Russia Sushi. _

"Ah, welcome back, Izaya!" Simon greeted with his hands full of plates of questionable sushi. "The regular?"

Izaya smiled, waving and nodding. "Yes, but not to go. I'm meeting with a friend tonight."

Simon seemed to light up at the comment, smiling. "Ah, friends are good! A man like you definitely needs friends!"

Izaya laughed, "Simon-san, that's not very nice. I think I'm a perfectly fun-loving guy. I just love humans so much is all."

Simon shook his head in somewhat of a disapproval but didn't say anything more. "Is Kida-kun still with you? He safe? Don't hurt him." He said in his usual broken-up Japanese.

Izaya smirked, waving a hand in dismissal of not to worry. "Kida-kun is perfectly fine with me, thank you. The only one I will let hurt him is me and I have no intention of doing that anytime soon."

"He good kid. Strong. Happy. Don't break him." Simon's words of wisdom came again.

"Duly noted, Simon-san~" he said before he heard the bell chime, turning around. "Ah, I think we'll have to pick this conversation up another day, Simon-san. My guest just arrived." He said, facing the high school boy. "Oh, Mikado-kun~ Why do you look so serious? Should we look so serious when talking about Masaomi?" He joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

Mikado's facade didn't budge and he just walked up to the informant. "I don't plan to make fun of this situation, nor do I plan to spend more time with you than I have to." He stated, "I'm not playing any of your games, Izaya-san, so let's discuss what we came here to discuss."

Izaya was pleasantly surprised at the determination and how different Mikado was alone, faced in a situation like this as opposed to when he was around Kida. He smirked, narrowing his eyes into piercing blue ones. "Fine, this way~" he sang, but he, himself, also wasn't going to mess around in this situation. Everything that he said and did in the upcoming conversation would be the truth, whether his boyfriend's best friend believed it or not.

–

Izaya skipped to the back of the restaurant into a secluded private room. He slid the door open, moving to take a seat at the table. "I've taken the liberty of getting us a private room so no one bothers us during our discussion." He replied matter-of-factly.

Mikado followed behind him at a normal pace and took his seat on the floor. He sighed inwardly, wishing he didn't have to this conversation with the informant.

"So, what about Kida-kun should we talk about?" He asked, looking over at the dark-haired boy who seemed to be mustering up a smugness ever since they got to Russia Sushi.

"Why you?" Mikado finally said. Izaya blinked, "Don't you think that's more of a question for Kida-kun?"

Mikado shook his head, "Why did you agree to it? Why would he pick you? You ruined his entire life."

Izaya smiled mischievously over at the gang leader. "It's true. I had no real intention of making this relationship actually work or long-lasting. Kida was one of my favorite toys to play with. He's such an interesting human, don't you think so?" He started, "though, the longer I was with him, the more dates and conversations we had – the more I thought I might actually really like being around Kida-kun all the time. For the longest time, I had treasured him like a little brother – but the little quirks Kida-kun does are somewhat cute and it was quite fun to learn more about his kinks in the bedroom as-"

Mikado slammed his hands on the table, causing Izaya's rant end. Did he really have to bring their personal business up? His ears turned red at the conversation and he was pretty sure he was burning a hole through the table with his eyes. Why did Masaomi give himself up to Orihara Izaya? It made his stomach churn.

Red orbs seemed to dance and the grin only spread wider on the informant's face as he watched the gang leader try to calm himself down. "Ne, ne, Mikado-kun~ It seems like you're jealous." He smiled as he saw Mikado's head shoot up to give him a death glare. Izaya only chuckled, waving his hand in dismissal. "Ah, if looks could kill~" He teased, but his face fell into a more serious one.

"Ryuugamine Mikado. You're a smart boy. If you know what's good for you – you'll stay away from Masaomi. He's _mine_."

It seemed like they were at a standstill for a long time just trying to intimidate each other by looks, before they both let their guards down as they heard a familiar voice in front of the shop.

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><p>AN: Don't forget to R&R! :)


	3. He Comes Storming In

–

"Simon-san!" Masaomi waved, smiling brightly. "Long time, no see!"

The sushi chef turned to the blonde, and smiled happily, "Ah, Kida! Good to see you. You come for sushi?" He said, offering his plate to the teenager.

Masaomi smiled, waving his hand. "Ah, no. I just came to pick up some ootoro for the bastard. He's out."

Simon blinked, "You mean Izaya? He here, with friend."

Kida blinked, with a friend? Izaya didn't have friends. "Oh? A client...?"

Simon shook his head, "No, friend. Ah, he your friend too. That...Mikado?"

–

"Izaya...and Mikado?" Kida knew that was wrong. Something was wrong if that was true. Those two despised each other ever since he started to date Izaya. Simon had no reason to lie about this though. He turned to the chef, "Simon-san – did Izaya-san pay you not to tell me anything?"

Simon's eyes seemed to widen a bit, and he shook his free hand that wasn't holding the large tray. "Ah, no, no. A man who takes bribes is a man who is shameful." He nodded, agreeing with himself.

"Alright. Can you show me where they're seated?"

"Well, they chose a private room, but Izaya always takes a closed-off room. Is everything okay, Kida?" Simon asked, "I don't want no fight. Fighting makes you hungry."

Kida shook his head, "No...I won't fight anyone. At least not physically." He promised Simon, and Simon seemed to have bought it as he made the way towards where the two men were sitting. "Excuse me, Izaya-san. Mikado. Someone is here to see you." He said, before bowing out.

Izaya grinned as he saw the familiar blonde walk in. "Ah, Kida-kun~ what brings you here?"

Kida frowned, "I came by to pick up your stupid ootoro." He said, flinging the bag into the informant's lap. "I thought you said you were meeting with a client."

"I am, Kida-kun. Ryuugamine-kun is my client for the night." He told him, looking up at the ex-leader.

Kida turned to his best friend, "is that true? Did you ask for him?" He knew the two were not very fond of each other ever since Kida decided to go steady with Izaya. Izaya became more protective and found more entertainment in teasing his best friend about it and Mikado, well, would worry himself silly about him – even if Kida said everything was fine.

Mikado lowered his head for a minute, before looking up at his friend. "Y-yes. I asked for him to come have dinner with me so we could talk."

"You wanted information about...?"

Mikado fell silent and Izaya's grin spread across his face in amusement. He knew Mikado would have to admit he came here to get more information on their relationship. He was winning this game.

"And you," golden eyes locked onto red ones, "I told you I would take care of it." He said, reaching down to grab Izaya's hand. "Now, let's go." He said, but was pulled into Izaya's lap, Izaya gripping Kida's chin, kissing him softly. Kida reluctantly kissed his boyfriend back, only because he knew what his boyfriend was doing – not that he didn't like it.

Kida glared over at him, before standing up, sighing softly. He looked over at Mikado, "if you have something to say about our relationship – talk to me. You know I won't play games with you, unlike this one." He tugged on Izaya's hand, and the older man eventually brushed off his knees and got up.

"How do I know you won't after spending so much time with him?" Mikado muttered, staring at the full plate of food on the table.

Masaomi's grip on Izaya's hand was getting tighter as his free hand was forming into a fist at his side. He was sick of his boyfriend being put down by his best friend and his best friend being put down by his boyfriend. "Don't act like you know him." He hissed softly. "You don't know anything about him."

Mikado stood up from his place at the table. "Masaomi. He ruined your life twice! How can you go back for a third time?"

"What did you come here for? Why did you tell Izaya to meet you here? What information were you trying to get!" Kida seemed to be talking louder each sentence, and he could feel his body shaking with anger.

"To figure out if Izaya is just playing a game." Mikado replied calmly. "I don't want you getting hurt. Again. By this same bastard."

"He may be a bastard, but...he's _my_ bastard."

Izaya's eyes seemed to light up, grinning. He pulled Kida into a tight hug, "Aww, Masaomi~ That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

Kida shoved the informant off him, hands still linked. "Get off, bastard."

"There!" Mikado frowned, standing up from his seat. "You clearly don't want him around you. What is he threatening you with? Your life, your friends, your past?" He was panicking, but he really felt that this wasn't right for Masaomi or...

"You just don't get it. You never will, because half the time _I_ don't get it." Kida answered, and he frowned once he heard Izaya begin to speak.

"If I didn't know any better, Mikado, it sounds like you're _jealous_ that I have Masaomi."

Mikado balled his hands into fists, clenching his teeth, glaring over into red eyes. "He's my_ best friend_." He argued. "I just want him to be happy and safe." He frowned as his gaze dropped to the floor.

Kida let out a soft sigh and his hand unlinked from the informants as he stepped over to his friend. He reached up and placed his hands on the raven's shoulders, flashing him a huge smile. "I'm fine, man. How many times do I have to tell you? Geez, it's like you're my mom." He replied, a few weak chuckles slipping from his lips as he scratched the back of his neck.

Mikado's eyes locked on with Kida's, the cerulean orbs were filled with worry, and Kida could tell he was nervous for him being in this relationship. The raven-haired student didn't respond after Kida's reassurance which now was making the blonde feel uneasy.

"Look. He hasn't done anything to hurt me in a year, and I know it sounds crazy as hell coming from me, but I believe him when he says he's done playing with me," Kida sighed.

Mikado moved his glance from his friend to the broker, who only gave him a smirk that could have come straight from the fox's mouth. "You may be beginning to trust him, but I don't. Not with you. He's hurt you too much!" He argued.

"I'm a masochist!" Kida joked, but as always, Mikado wasn't laughing. This time it wasn't because his jokes weren't funny, but that Mikado wasn't joking around.

Mikado let out an exhausted sigh and left a tip on the table for his nearly untouched plate of food. "It's getting late. I better get going," he ended the conversation at hand, staring at the couple. The elder purposefully playing his hands like a instrument on his best friend's body at the moment while the blonde struggled to get him to stop - but you could tell Masaomi was just embarrassed by it not that he was uncomfortable with it.

And that small moment that seemed like centuries passing to the anonymous gang leader hit him the hardest because he knew the informant was right. He was jealous that an asshole like Izaya had Masaomi and he didn't want that. He wanted Masaomi to live happy and be safe, but in his gut, he knew what he really wanted was for Masaomi to live happy and be safe _with him._


End file.
